Thursday, 19th November

This morning as i woke, I realised that my rising postive attitude was slowly declining back to my negative thoughts. One of my bestfriends told me the other day, That she love's seeing my happy, and so does everyone else. I thought to myself, "What if i cannot keep this up much longer." Then would everyone be dissapointed in me? Would I fail and keeping up this act? My happiness has been on the rise and the fall since he left. I've really been struggling. But i've pulled myself out of the rut which i had fallen. And was slowy recovering from the fall. Now, I am falling back over the edge. My feelings and emotions comeing with me. This rollercoaster is no longer enjoyable for me. I want to get off. Have this whole nightmare over. It's not as simple as i wish.