Sunday, 1st of November
New month. Nothing is going to change like i hope it will, Things will still be the same. I will be the same Keeley as I was the last month, the Same dreams and hopes. I will still love him the way I did yesterday, And i will still cry myself to sleep as I did the last month. Just because the number has dropped from 31, to 1, doesnt mean my whole life will be altered. I want to start things fresh, but its only a new month. Doesnt really make any difference. So today was a friggin great day. The only downer for the mood was seeing two of my close friends, being so captivated in eachother. Their in love, And i envy them so very much. I look over and i cant help but wish i was in their shoes. I dream of me and him, being insepperable. Incapable of falling apart. Staring into eachothers eye's and feeling whole. For a while now, He has been the only thing on my mind and The only thing that makes me smile. And recently i've been trying to avoid my thoughts of him. Fail. He is just to, well amazing for me to ignore. He makes it so difficult. Throughtout today, Several of my friends caught me dreaming. I wish they didnt. I like stopping what im doing and just starring into the stars and wishing that he is too. I want to stop dreaming and wishing and hoping. I want him here, I want him with me. So i can destroy this everlastin feeling of him slipping away. He's the only thing i am holding onto for dear life, everything else is open to leave. Just not him.