Saturday, 21st November

He's back. Now, I've dropped back down, to being desperate and broken. Stay away, I think to myself. You left. You left me to get over you, You left me, and told me to be happy. You left.  I had no control over that. The night's i cried, the day's i wasted by being miserable, The oppertunities I missed, The friends I lost. All because you left me at my lowest point, You shouldnt have left. Then everything would still be okay. I'd still be here. I was struggling. Anyone could see that, But you still left me alone. I cried for you, I screamed your name at nights. I had nightmares, I was breaking down, I was no longer keeley. I am broken, All because of you. You came back, then you left, You came back, then you left. I cant live like that. Not knowing if when I wake up you'd still want to be with me. I've been convinced by several people that this is for the best. I'm starting to agree. I cant love you, If your not here. I cant love you, If I doubt your love. I cant love you, If you dont want me to. You made up your mind. Stick with it, Because I am not a yo-yo. Im a fourteen year old girl, Who's struggling to keep up with your 21 year old mind. It's not safe around you, Im scared In the end I will do something I would regret. Im scared you will too. I havent heard from you, or Seen you. You never updated your blog, I didnt even know if you were alive. That made it worst. I thought. "If he's dead, It's because of me." Then I would have that on my shoulders, to carry around with mefor the rest of my life. You can carry this around.

I am no longer yours, That is your fault.