I took the first step towards moving on today. He wants it like this, and I'm merely respecting his wishes. I am not enjoying any of this pointless crying. It does not make me feel any better at the end of each day. My first step was quite difficult. Well, there was actually two steps. One: Stop myself from crying. Which i managed fine until I stared deep into darkness with nothing but his image in my head, Having his words bounce around my brain, leaving me feel quite hopeless. But I didn't cry, I was just fairly down. & Two: Enjoy myself. Which Indeed I did. But it also got me thinking, I took yet another large step tonight. Nothing along the lines of him and where im at. But Surrounding smoking. Having that ciggerete in my mouth, has me wanting more of my life. Im Pretty young, But i really want to have fun. I guess if i keep myself busy with who knows what, then maybe His existence which is lingering all around me will vanish. I enjoyed myself. Be side's the fact that one of my best friends will not talk to me due to the fact that I indeed now smoke. I can see where he is coming from, It is bad for your health, But its my life, I will live it the way I want to. Weather he likes it or not. The first step. Im scared to start the next, but it's for the best.